Do you Stand Out or Stick Out?

The distinction between standing out and sticking out first came to mind when my sales manager, Skip, was visiting. After a day in the field, he said to me, “Let’s face it, Tara, you’re kind of awkward.”

Skip was the stereotypical sales manager—navy slacks, gray blazer, the most common Cole Hahn shoes. He talked about work and golf, drank coffee for lunch, and gin for dinner.

But I remember him because of that statement, “Let’s face it Tara, you’re kind of awkward.” I let this corporate clone convince me I didn’t stand out, I stuck out.

I spent many years wondering why I was awkward and how I should correct it.

Here is what I came up with:

• When people talk about golf, I ask about memories.
• When people talk about football, I ask about passion.
• When people talk about facts, I ask about feelings.
• When people tell stories, I ask about opinions.
• And — I find humor in everyday events, lest we all take life too seriously.

After this assessment, I tried to course-correct for a bit. Trying to fit in, I talked about ordinary, non-controversial topics, tried to care about golf and football, and kept my awkward perspectives to myself.

That sucked.

The endorphins and oxytocin that once fueled me with stamina and connection were fleeting. As they began to fade, my need for pleasure-stacking grew stronger.

Until one day—

I heard something that completely transformed me.  It was the single validation I needed to free myself of banality and be the awkward me. It was Brene Brown – and how she ends her podcasts.

Every. Single. Time.

She says, “Stay awkward, brave, and kind.”

With a bit of research, I learned that Brene Brown champions the awkward because it’s not when we are polished and prepared, but when we are vulnerable and imperfect that real connection transpires. Being awkward makes us relatable and approachable, opening the door for trust and empathy.

Connection. Trust. Empathy.

Those are top-tier values for how I want to navigate life!

Perhaps Skip found me awkward because I wasn’t clear on my values. When we know what we value—what we stand for—we shift from sticking out to standing out. And if that means being awkward, then I say, bring it!

I remember another time when the Cole Hahns and Callaways came rolling into town. After a high-stakes sales call, frustration and disappointment coursed through me as we approached my car. Skip slid into his seat, snapped his seatbelt in place, and announced, “You won’t win that account.”

He told me I was wasting my time and to move on. I pushed back, but he insisted that the competition had too strong a hold. By the time I dropped Skip at his hotel that evening, my competitive drive was burning through my skin. I was not about to give up.

Relying on sincerity and creativity, I built connection, trust, and empathy.

Awkward and all, I proved Skip wrong.

Going from sticking out to standing out is subtle and simple. 
 

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